It’s the most good-ish time of the year — and that’s adequate

Bring brownies to the school pageant, a white elephant gift to the company party, and Chantilly Grace’s soccer uniform to change into after pajama day Thursday. Hand-address those Christmas cards. And find time to do some shopping — it’s HERE and it’s MAGICAL! Especially if you’re in the throes of parenting, child-ing, working, and being human.

If you’re lucky, you have lots of family gatherings to look forward to, which are amazing if you love your family and also unwanted advice. In that spirit, friends, I’m here to offer you even more unsolicited advice on how to have the most average holiday of all, which leads me to advice nugget number one:

1. Lower your expectations. There is nothing wrong with an average holiday. In fact, what you consider average might be someone else’s spectacular, so it’s best to check oneself before one wrecks one’s self.

2. Do not, I repeat, do not try to save a few bucks by hand-crafting thoughtful gifts for acquaintances and community helpers. Everyone loves a simple $10 gift card to a coffee shop. Not everyone loves a hand-painted family of pinecone reindeer you labored over for four hours with $60 worth of supplies. This math never works out. And no one has storage space for pinecone reindeer eleven months a year. It’s not sensible.

3. Speaking of $10 gifts cards, buy a couple of extras, keep them in your purse or wallet, and make sure it’s to someplace you like. Why? Because there is always someone out there (more thoughtful than you) who will buy you a gift, and you don’t want to be empty-handed. You will NOT be out-gifted THIS year! And if it doesn’t happen, treat yourself.

4. Send holiday cards. This is the literal opposite of 2022 Lindsay who was all, “Liberate yourself from this obligation! Take the year off! It’s not worth it!” Then the holiday cards from my thoughtful friends and family around the country started coming in, and I felt like a big, giant turd. It takes less time than I devote to playing mindless games on my phone each day in the name of “decompression” to stamp and address cards every year.

5. Sit in front of the tree. When the house is quiet, get your favorite traditional Christmas beverage, whether it’s a hot chocolate or an eggnog or a grapefruit White Claw, and breathe in that pre-lit artificial Christmas tree goodness. Maybe put on some Christmas music and think about another reason for the season: after-Christmas sales and out-gifting showoffs.

6. No advice is great advice because no two people are the same. So get ready to nod and smile because advice just means someone cares.

7. Get that time with loved ones wherever and however you can, whether it means hosting or traveling or Facetime. My parents moved out of Florida this year because they decided they were too old for their 55-plus community. You guys, my parents feel like they have aged out of Florida. I can’t. But this makes time with family even more precious.

Happy holidays, friends! Whatever you celebrate, and wherever you are, I hope it’s uneventful and fistfight-free. And someday, when someone asks you where you were on Christmas 2023, may you say, “Hmm ... I’m not sure. But I’m sure it was fine.”